2025-02-18
A N G E L

"...every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings." -- Karolyn Grimes as ZuZu Baily

The bell rang for 18-year-old Black Angelfish Princess last week, on Sunday, 2/9/25, at 11:27 PM. It's appealing to dream I (or #grandMya) might find her waiting at the Rainbow Bridge when I get there. But if that's where her little feline spirit went, I suspect David's already gone out, found her in the meadow, and smuggled her across the Bridge.

Angel was prominently featured (including some photos) in several of my blog articles. She starred in BiloCat and Woof?; played a supporting role in Silver, Windowing, and Dove/Love; and made several cameo appearances in other Abiding Blog and even Adding Insult entries.

Back in summer of 2006, condo neighbors Curtis and Cassie saw a tragedy about to happen. Neighbors in the lot next to ours had discarded an old sofa by their dumpster. A pregnant cat had taken up residence and delivered her babies in it. When a trash collection truck finally came, the workers didn't know about the cat and kittens hidden in the sofa. Before they could lift the sofa into the truck, though, Cassie and Curtis ran out, stopped them, and managed to catch/rescue the mother and all the kittens she was loathe to abandon even when discovered and frightened. C&C took them back to their condo, ensconced them in the room where they kept their large, well populated fishtank, raised the kittens until they were weaned, then offered them all to friends and neighbors. Mya, a preschooler at the time, and I went to adopt one. Because of the all-black kitten - except for one small white chevron on her tummy, obviously her disguised angel wings - "associating" with the black angelfish in C&C's tank, Angel got her long and nuance-rich name, plus the obvious nickname that was also an apt description.

Mya never felt able to take Angel home with her, as there was a dog in her household; and that would've freaked Angel. Given that she may have been pre- and post-natally malnourished, plus the trauma of the rescue itself and not enough time afterwards to socialize her well, Angel was pretty skittish. She got used to me and, 'cuz she then spent every other weekend with me, to Mya when she was a child. She'd even jump up behind Mya when she was sitting forward in her chair at the dining room table, a trick Angel learned from Silver. Sadly, that relationship with Mya weakened over time, as Mya grew bigger and came to visit less often.

Angel was afraid of Rey, though, for most of her life, and terrified of other people ... David eventually becoming the sole exception 'cuz he was always (a) gentle of voice and touch with her and (b) her caregiver in my home whenever I was away. She might've grown out of that fear as she became a mature adult, especially with a very human-trusting model like Silver. But that didn't quite happen because of one other traumatic experience.

It was the year that I held monthly Devotional Potlucks in my home. Angel started off always hiding in the cat-condo panic room, so no one ever saw or tried to reach for her...which I'm sure she greatly appreciated.

One Sunday, though, something drew her attention; I never did figure out what. Since everyone had been sitting still with their food, readings, and pleasant conversation, she decided to risk jumping down to the floor and going across the room. Again, no one really paid any attention. But just as she reached the middle of the floor unnoticed, a couple of attendees stood up to leave. And, of course, everyone else stood up to go bid and hug them goodbye. Suddenly, Angel was surrounded by a circle of tall, noisy, moving monsters with threatening feet. She shot out of the room, skittered into the kitchen, and hid way back behind stuff in the under-counter storage space. I didn't even know for sure where she was for hours, until everyone had left long ago and the quiet drew her out for supper.

In her later years, though, Angel did mellow out a bit. That often happens as cats enter their "senior" stage. One factor was that, after Silver died in 2017, she had no other cat to associate with. I think simple loneliness eventually helped trigger her willingness to countenance a little more human involvement in her life. She became very comfortable with me, progressing from "together" means sitting in the same general space at the same general time (like, in the "cave" by my desk when I was working or the "cradle" by my rocking chair when I was watching TV), to "together" means willingly jumping up and sitting in my lap, to "together" means coming into my bed at night and eventually climbing up on me every night to sleep warmly.

Still, she never did really learn the trick of scooching under the covers, even though Silver regularly used that trick to "disappear" during the day and even managed, one time, to get her completely hidden under the covers with himself. (Imagine my surprise that day when I threw back the covers off the lump that was my cat, and found that the lump was my two cats.) Occasionally, she'd go under the covers if I held them up for her. But no matter how cold it was, she seldom stayed there for more than a few minutes after I dropped the cover on her, before determinedly "escaping" from under them.

David continued to be a trusted friend. She gradually got closer to Mya and then Rey, and that rubicon was crossed the day he unexpectedly offered her a bite of his food and she took it from his fingers. After David's death in late 2023 (and I'm sure Angel noticed his absence), my friend Lynn became her new designated caregiver after he "cat-whispered" her into letting him groom her (for which he had just the right special tools) after a serious bout of sickness left her bedraggled and super matted. (Warning: Don't ever let your cat get ahold of any citrus; it can kill them. I had some frozen mandarin orange wedges on my rocker-side table one very hot day last year, and she apparently grabbed one and ate it, not realizing it was poison 'cuz she couldn't smell it while it was frozen. Nursing her back from that was a long process, until she finally relearned, 'cuz cats can forget, to eat again when I tempted her with some stinky whole canned salmon. Whew!) And as a concession to Lynn, she also allowed wife Ellen to visit.

The recent Fall when Curtis was supervising the clean-out of all condo dryer vents, he got to meet Angel once more for the last time. He commented on her longevity, how well she looked for her age, how laid back she seemed, and how accepting of being petted by a "stranger" at the back door. It was a treasured memory.

This month, though, things really started to go south. She wasn't eating much, and had lost at least half her weight. But I didn't grab her, stuff her into a carrier, and take her to the vet. That would've terrified her and perhaps not helped anyway; I'd've been doing that for me, not for her. As long as she didn't express pain, I was willing to let nature take its course with what I suspected was kidney failure. By the 5th, she was going for, but then barely interested in, almost everything I tried to feed her. By the 8th, she stopped eating anything solid at all. The morning of the 9th, I tempted her to drink some whole canned salmon water with its few bits of suspended fish flesh. She drank it, and half an hour later barfed it all up. From then on, she had no interest in anything, not even plain fresh water.

I immediately called Mya and Rey to come over and say goodbye. They came in the afternoon and spent some time with her. Mya even held and rocked her for a while, wrapped in a soft red towel, with a plastic grocery bag covering that to help Angel preserve her warmth and also to prevent her from staining Mya's clothes. Angel did slightly wet the towel, but not much; and that was the last time anything passed. She eventually struggled to get out of Mya's hold. When Mya let her go, she headed under Rey's chair, collapsed sideways, lay still for maybe a minute, got up again, walked out from under the chair, then lowered into a Sphinx crouch and stayed there.

Rey and Mya eventually had to leave. I wanted to keep Angel warm and comfortable with me when I went to bed, but didn't dare just lay her in the bed, in case she "leaked" or tried to get down and would fall off. I padded a high-sided cardboard box with an old sheet and oversize towel, laid her on it, covered her with another soft towel, and put the box on the bed next to me. This time she not only didn't try to get out of the box, she didn't even try to get out from under the towel. Finally, as I was on my pre-midnight call with my 11-Step partner, I heard her nails scritch against the side of the box as her front paws fell lifelessly down the side and she finally winged away.

It's been nine days, and I still find myself doing "for Angel" things. Oh, she'll like to lick this bowl; no, she's not here to do that. Uh, I better put this out of Angel's reach; ack, she's not here anymore. Time to clean Angel's water bowl; mmph, no water bowl now. Time to call Angel, check on Angel, feed Angel, snuggle with...; no, *sigh*. All that probably won't even begin to stop until after we three, and anyone else who wants to join us, lay her to rest in nature (which we can't do just yet 'cuz of weather and ground conditions).

But Mya has already eulogized her on FB, using a sweet and not-too-long-ago photo:

Khoda hafez,
Lucki
P.S. Angel needs to be my last cat. I don't want to adopt another feline companion (or two, so one isn't lonely) that's pretty sure to outlive me...especially now that David isn't around to foster them as promised. Leaving them to Rey or Mya wouldn't be ideal for either of htem; and while Mead et al would be willing to step up, it'd mean the cat(s) being quarantined for six months in a Canadian vet's cage before they could be freed to live anywhere there. Rey thought maybe I could adopt an older cat that wouldn't outlive me, then retracted the suggestion when Mya replied," Do you really want Grams going through this again?!" He's a wise dad, heeding the daughter in whose hands is our future. I'm proud of both of them.

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2025-01-29
T W O O P S

"No enemy is worse than bad advice."  -- Sophocles

It's really sad when someone is given bad advice. It is especially sad when that someone is someone a lot of people depend on, and/or look to for guidance. It can damage all of those people. It can even damage anyone who crosses paths with those people. It can also very badly damage the person being advised. And it can, in the end, damage the advisor most of all, because that bad advice will eventually hang around their neck of the rest of their life.

We saw a prime example of this last month when our newly elected President, seeking to strengthen a planned Executive Order, got very poor, unscientific advice about a topic he new little about. Not that he necessarily should have known anything about it, but he should've been able to trust that his advisors would. And they should've made sure they did.

The upshot of that egregious bad advice - laughable in spite of being so serious, which unfortunately held him up to no small ridicule - was that he essentially declared by Executive Order that all 340 million people in this country (which, of course, necessarily includes hims...uh, herself) are and must continue to be considered female.

I wonder what all the men in this country thought of that. Or will think of it, at least once someone tells them that they were now female. Especially, but not limited to, all the macho men and other examples of toxic masculinity. And, too, all those who are most dedicated to supporting our new President..

You didn't know everyone's now female? Including Madame President? Well, here's how it goes, as the science clearly tells us. The Exec Order mandated that everyone is to be classified according to what examination demonstrates is the gender at conception. That's the key scientific threshold: at conception!

See, post conception, the three stages of gestation are germinal (lasting about four weeks), embryonic (lasting about another six weeks), and fetal (lasting thereafter until birth). And an examination of the result at or immediately following conception - and in fact during the whole of the germinal stage and a third to half of the embryonic stage - can only reveal the same result in all cases past, present, and future: phenotypically female. That's right. The genes on the Y chromosome don't even begin to express themselves until the sixth or seventh week after conception. Until then, the cells only express the X chromosome. Female.

Oops!

On a marginally related note, did you see the recent headlines on the order of "Montgomery County school parents say any LGBTQ+ lesson content violates their religion; SCOTUS will hear case"?

Basically, these parents, a coalition of members of more than one world religion, contend that any reading material with LGBTQ+ content violates their First Amendment rights to freedom of religion, and they want to be able to pull their children from those classes. (Let's never mind that the First Amendment also ensures freedom of speech, and Constitutional scholars pretty much agree that the "freedom of speech" encompasses the core concept that a healthy democracy depends on the free flow of information and the open exchange of ideas, which requires both speaking and hearing.

A lower-court judge denied the petition earlier because the parents couldn't show "that the no-opt-out policy burdens their religious exercise." But maybe SCOTUS is just looking for an excuse to make their own strict, religiously motivated decision into the law of the land. I don't know, and I don't want to cast aspersions.

But I gotta say, I think the Becket (an NFP with a history of anti-LGBT litigation) lawyer may have given the parents some really poor legal counsel on at least one front. 'Cuz he apparently made a public statement to the effect that the school system's decision to stop opt-outs was "cramming down" controversial gender ideology into 3-year-old pupils.

BUT, the LGBTQ+-related lessons apply only to students in Montgomery County's middle and high schools. So no 3-year-olds are being exposed to them. So the lawyer may have set the bar that the parents, having no 3-year-olds in classes with LGBTQ+ content, have no standing before the Court.

Oops.

Two oopses. TWOOPS!

Khoda hafez,
Lucki
P.S. Oh, and what about a student's right to learn more about the world than any single set of parents can teach them? They're going to have to learn to live with all kinds of people when they grow up and go out on their own. Of course the parents should try to teach them moral values. But intolerance of differences and intentional, enforced ignorance about reality are NOT moral values. If anything, they are a tacit form of child abuse. Of course, parents, give your children religious education. But remember that the schools are duty-bound to teach them how to survive and thrive in the real world as it is, not just as you want it to be.

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2025-01-03
B R I G H T E R

"The darker the night, the brighter the stars."  -- Fyodor Dostoevsky

It's been three years since we've had a guest blogger here, so it's about time to give someone else a chance to speak. And boy, does this author and entrepreneur speak to an issue that is - whether we recognize or admit or like it or not - front-and-center in our world, and specifically though not solely in our nation, today. So without further ado, let me introduce you to Justice St. Rain of Special Ideas.

Lucki, thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts on a subject I believe is dear to many people's hearts.

As the world grows darker, we must shine brighter.

What does it look like to promote world citizenship in the age of renewed nationalism and "America First"? One first step is to be supportive of immigrants. And one way to do that is to educate ourselves about immigration issues so we know how to respond accurately and respectfully to the anti-immigrant talking points that we hear or see on social media and in person.  

I always use 'Abdu'l-Baha's technique when talking to misinformed people. In summary: "Admitted, agreed, but now let's look at it from this other perspective."

So when they exclaim that immigrants are flooding the country, I may answer, "Yes, it can seem like a lot of people. But did you know that without immigrants, our population would be shrinking, which would really mess up our Social Security fund? Also, proportionally, it is much fewer than what came through Ellis Island when many of our grandparents arrived."

And when they state that those people are using our social services, I might respond, "Yes, it is true that for the first year or so, immigrants are a real drain on our resources. But studies have shown that in the long run, they actually give back in taxes, jobs, and services much more than they use."

And when they complain that illegals are taking our jobs, I can reply, "Yes, undocumented workers can be forced to work below minimum wage. That's why we should let them come in legally, so that employers can't take advantage of them at our expense. They also often do jobs that other people don't want to do."

And when they demand that they should just follow our laws, I will say "I agree. We are a country of laws. But did you know that according to international law, these people have a right to seek asylum, and we should be processing their asylum requests quickly? Otherwise, they run out of money and have few options but to try to cross illegally. If we followed our own asylum laws, they wouldn't be breaking them."

[ASIDE] BTW: My book club is currently reading Crossing the Desert, about one young Baha'i's escape from Iran. I discovered that after the revolution in Iran, it was illegal for most Baha'is to leave that country, and yet we welcomed them here anyway.[/ASIDE]

And when they insist that they're drug dealers and criminals, I need to counter, "You are right. Some of them are (though most of them are not). That's why we need to invite all of them to come through regular border crossings where they can be vetted, instead of being turned away and forced to try to sneak across. That way, only the criminals will have to try to cross illegally. But it's also true that most drugs are actually being smuggled across the border by Americans at established checkpoints. And it's also true that undocumented people generally have a lower crime rate here than citizens do, because the majority are being as law-abiding as possible in their daily lives so as not to risk coming to the attention of the authorities."

By acknowledging people's concerns about immigrants, but responding with facts, perhaps you too can help people see that if we behave like citizens of the world, it will benefit everyone. At the very least, you will let them know that some people see people from other countries as assets and welcome them as valuable members of the human family.

So are you ready to have meaningful conversations about our world from "this other perspective" of a world citizen? Then start sharing it at every opportunity. And believe me, if you want to share it, the opportunities will come to be a brighter, a brilliant star.

Thank you, Justice. There's a lot of food for thought there. And some well-put facts to share with others.

Readers interested in World Citizen T-shirts, tote bags, flags, lanyards, bracelets, mirrors, stickers, decals, temp tattoos, buttons, magnets, and ID cards will find them here at Special Ideas. Special Ideas is also featured as a panel in our Portals Quilt. Justice himself is also a staunch ally of the Tahirih Justice Center, a national, nonprofit organization that serves immigrant women and girls who are survivors fleeing gender-based violence.

Khoda hafez,
Lucki

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